I Miss Making Dinner: May 23, 2011

The month of May, my Hell Month, is almost over.  Almost, almost.  Still some big things to get through, but I'm almost there.

May is scattered and busy.  I dislike scattered and busy.  I want to be able to focus on just one or two things at a time but instead, May demands that I manage loads of work and loads of volunteer projects and the garden and birthdays and more work and trips out of town and the computer breaking down and the car breaking down and the yard and the kids' end-of-school activities and OH MY GOD PLEASE MAKE IT STOP but of course it does not stop.

May is expensive.  Expensive makes me nervous.  May is the month when it seems we hemorrhage money into the garden, the yard, things that need fixing all at once.  Expensive computer repairs, car repairs, home repairs.  Important gifts:  Graduations, appreciations, weddings, babies.  We are too busy to fix dinner so we get carry out.  My inner Depression-era housewife is horrified.

May requires that I neglect things I hate to neglect.  How long has it been since I made dinner?  Or baked anything?  The boys missed the last two weeks of religious school because, literally, no one was available to transport them to and from the synagogue.  Working out is right out.  The crazy circus balancing act that is May requires letting some things go, but I hate that.

May has ruined my head.  Of course I got a cold.  My nose keeps bleeding for no reason, I suppose just because it can.  I haven't been able to hear properly since a plane trip a week and a half ago.  At night, my brain functions like an Outlook calendar, pinging me with alerts and reminders.  At two a.m.  And three a.m.  And four a.m.  All in all, my head is entirely too high-maintenance. I would like a replacement head.

But:  Light at the end of the tunnel!  Last night I managed to fix a nice dinner, the first in weeks, to celebrate my dad's birthday.  (Belatedly.  Of course.)  Chicken parmesan made with homemade tomato sauce, which came out beautifully.  The herb garden is going gangbusters and oh boy do I have plans for all that goodness.  Eli and I made it to the gym this morning.  Tonight I will roast chickens so we can eat off the leftovers for the rest of the week, because I really cannot take any more pizza-Chinese-Indian-Thai takeaways.

Summer will come.  Summer will come.  Summer will come.